Ladies and Gentlemen, craftsmanship. One of the finest examples of taking pride in what you do, and making absolutely sure no detail is too small.
no no no. I dont think you understand, a year or two ago I had a HORRIBLE nightmare about a piece that looked EXACTLY like this a did the exact same things and i swear to you i’ve never seen this thing in my life besides that dream. Omfg. PTSD moment.
Kanye trying to outdo Kim’s cleavage is the reason I’m crying 😂
I was writing about you, for the record.
You know, when you were trying to get my attention and I was looking at the screen. I was writing about you. I was revising this “thing” I wrote for you for the 50th time to send to you. Which is what I gonna suggest you to: Was to go to my blog and read it. It was about how insanely in love I am with you. Not League of Legends, no video games, no reddit, no dumb youtube video. Just you. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty I’m just trying to prove that I was paying attention to you because when you’re talking to me, I ALWAYS, ALWAYS be as attentive as I can. Of course you were talking to me about your class and whatever you were talking about escapes me now, ironically but regardless I was still focused on you.
I’m so attentive that I often get worried that I’m too attentive and that I need to give you space to breathe. Sometimes I think of purposefully, not sending you a message you or calling you so that you don’t feel suffocated by me. With all this being said however, I will say that (and you’re aware of this too) I have been frustrated. Not with you by any means but the lack thereof. The fact that I haven’t spent any time with you the entire week I had off frustrates me. And I know you’re in school so naturally you’re busy. And I also know, that I live pretty fucking far and you don’t always want to travel an hour or two to be with me. I get it, its tiring, exhausting and draining. But regardless, I think I’m entitled to a little frustration. Probably sexually more than anything. (Yeah, yeah you were right..) Especially the fact that we’ve had plans for you to come over and we’ve had to reschedule so many times..that becomes frustrating quick but that’s completely fine because I understand your circumstances and your priorities. What’s another couple days or weeks..right? I just feel like I don’t want to seem like the sex hungry boyfriend that only wants you for that; which is why I didn’t say I was sexually frustrated when you had asked me. But you knew it anyway. See, I’m new to all this stuff babe I need you to communicate with me!
Like I said, and will always say..I love you and things like this are trivial in my eyes. I’m not saying you’re wrong. Perhaps while I don’t think I was being an asshole, you obviously thought I was and if so I will fix it and avoid being like that in the future. I never want to walk on eggshells around you and I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to. So what I’ve done, ever since I knew how strongly I felt about you, is be completely genuine regarding my feelings and thoughts - I never beat around the bush concerning you and our relationship together. This is why I value communication so much. That’s why I ask so many questions and am so persistent whenever I make mistakes. I don’t want them to happen again so we can both avoid those strange one sided conversations where I’m talking to myself for 10 minutes.
I really mean what I say. I understand what I’m saying when I say it. I love you to whatever I understand unconditional love to be. Maybe I’m asking for too much here but I want you know that I love you, without second guessing yourself. Without an afterthought, just to think of me and truly know that I love you. Now I’m asking you to because that’s how I truly feel about you.
This scares me unlike anything I’ve experienced. I know what I’m saying, and I know we say it all the time. We say it so much I don’t want it to lose meaning. But with that being said I often find myself completely captivated by you and I don’t even know how to explain my feelings for you in any other way but to say I love you. I’m often at a loss of words. I look at you and I see someone I truly love. Someone I want to spend my life with. I want to be the one holding your hand, the one who kisses you good morning and goodnight. The one you make love to. That’s how I see you, and I don’t want to lose sight of this because I think what we have is actually special - what we have only comes once in a lifetime and in my lifetime and I’m choosing you. And I’m not just making up some poetic crap. You’re the only one I see myself with. You’re the love of my right now and the love of my life. I see you and only you.
It comes in crashing. So inconsiderate. Resolute disregard for where it lands and the destruction it leaves in its wake. Right through me - I’m left with marks all over. I have favourite ones and ones I despise. Each has its own tale to tell - evoking different emotions. I’m trying to cope.
I’ve run into a couple of friends this past month. They both greet me with an inordinate amount of enthusiasm. Very warm, almost encompassing. I haven’t seen them for a long time now, I can’t think of the last time. I missed them so much. Memories just surged into me and out like nothing and everything. Dancing in and around me as I stood there, enamored by the experience - breaking down in pain and in happiness. Anger and joy overwhelm my being and it starts to overflow. As the emotions roll down my cheek and hang onto my jawline I’m trying to understand my feelings but this time I cant. There’s nothing to analyze - nothing to think about. Nothing to say. Nothing to do but embrace it. So I did. A mutual understanding of sorts. That’s it, that’s all. These are my lifelong friends.